7 Tips to Help your Teen with a Learning Difference with Social Media — to become more resilient and even gain skills!
Navigating through the maze of social, emotional and academic experiences can be a challenging season of life for teenagers. However, the current generation of teens has a whole new set of considerations when it comes to the seemingly increasing complex world we live in.
As parents we are continuously battling the technology world, and while technology has opened new channels for learning when it comes to learning differences such as quick accommodations for reading and writing, ways to connect and communicate with others — there are other areas we also need to look at.
Our teens now also have access to new channels for socializing, which can have a huge impact on the emotional well being of those using it. These teenage experiences, which often pose a challenge for neurotypical teens, can prove to be even harder for those that have learning differences such as dyslexia.
In a survey by the Royal Society of Public Health, 14-24 year olds reported how they felt social media affected their health and wellbeing. The results found that some of the top social media platforms: Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Snapchat, led to “increased feelings of depression, anxiety, poor body image and loneliness.”
Teens are continuously bombarded with images of perfection - through apps that alter images of people’s faces and bodies or an illusion of having a great time, without them. When in actual fact it was just an image created to portray ‘fun’ when the event wasn’t truly experienced that way.
So if our teens are faced with feelings of ‘not good enough’ when it comes to their way of learning and then you add in how they look, their social life, their abilities and talents. Comparison. Comparison. Comparison.
This is leading to depression, anxiety, poor self image — and lack of sleep, as its hard work to keep up with all these demands even in the wee hours of the night.
So we’ve got our work cut out for us (no worries we have some suggestions)
Many teens with learning differences struggle with areas such as behaviour regulation, reading social cues, determining if information is accurate or judging if someone can be trusted, they may be at a greater risk of bullying, harassment and victimization in the online world. (LDAO). Not great facts but that’s not gonna stop us from supporting our kids and making our plan!!
So what can we do as parents to help our teens with learning differences become more resilient to the effects of social media — and even gain skills?
Offer your guidance through your own experiences.
1. Be on Social Media.
Your guidance is needed! And to guide your child, you have to know all about social media. So that means you have to be on social media to understand this world and what your child is facing. This doesn’t mean you have to be on Tik-Tok but being on a few platforms will help you understand this world so you can guide your child. Especially when your child first steps into the social media world.
2. Understand the Platforms.
You will then have an idea of what social media platform might be best to start out with and how to manage this account, such as how to make accounts private and what you would like them to do when connecting with others — such as only friend people you know (that type of thing). Talk to your child about who can be added to their private account. What are the boundaries when it comes to people they don’t know. Learn. Learn. Learn. then… Talk. Talk. Talk. - which leads to the next point.
Watch our Part I Video:
Help your child understand social skills when it comes to online vs real talk.
3. Know Your Child and their Social Needs.
Understand what your child’s needs are and consider what skills you can help them develop as they navigate the online social world, such as:
What is the possible difference between how someone talks to you online vs in person?
Talk to your child about the importance of tone of voice and facial expressions when it comes to communication and how we can ‘misread a text’ without these parts added in to our conversation.
Talk to your child about how it’s best to talk face to face instead of texting or using social media, when it’s an important conversation, to ensure you are understanding each other and not making assumptions about what they might be saying.
Help your child move from online interactions to talking to others the next day at school.
4. Role play with your Child
There’s one strategy that works really well to work on moving social skills from online to real like…and that is to role play. This helps them prepare for a real conversation and how to deal with others responses.
Work on what will they say to continue a conversation with a person and how others may react when they are not used to talking in person - as they are only used to talking online! Your child may view this as a rejection when it really is a lack of social skills when it comes to that person or a relationship that needs to be looked at again and redefined.
5. Help them Deal with a Bully Online (and in real life).
How can you stop others from coming into your space. Social media. now moves these type of interactions into your home! So how will your child learn to deal with them when they are home. How will you help your child deal with them at school and what boundaries will be put in place to let them know their bullying is not a secret and won’t be tolerated. This is also a time to reflect on where bullying comes from - being bullied. Talk about how a bully really feels and why do they do what they do. It changes their perspective when they see a bully as someone that is hurting themselves and has a low self esteem.
There are many conversations that will naturally happen with your child with it comes to social skills online and off — take this opportunity and develop the social skills and social media resilience they need.
Stay connected with your teen!
6. Be there.
This is a big one! As I’m sure you are picking up on by now. Being on social media yourself, you can talk about what you have learned, what you have experienced and how people show up when you know the concerns they are dealing with in silence.
Help them see the social media world through another lens. A lens of “highlights only’ instead of all of a person’s life.
Just being present to have open conversations about what they are dealing with or facing.
7. Talk. Talk. Talk.
Talk to them about apps that alter people’s faces and bodies - their overall looks.
Talk about what others are saying online and how they interact with them.
Talk about what are others are sharing on social media, why are they sharing what they are …and what does that means.
There are many things to learn and discuss and the only way you can do this is to be connected with your teen, so when they are open to sharing what is going on, you are there.
Let’s leave with this quote when it comes to teens needing their parents, as I feel this quote sums it up for sure!!
“Unconditional parental love is the indispensable nutrient for the child's healthy emotional growth. The first task is to create space in the child's heart for the certainty that she is precisely the person the parents want and love. She does not have to do anything or be any different to earn that love - in fact, she cannot do anything, since that love cannot be won or lost...The child can be ornery, unpleasant, whiny, uncooperative, and plain rude, and the parent still lets her feel loved. Ways have to be found to convey the unacceptability of certain behaviors without making the child herself feel unaccepted. She has to be able to bring her unrest, her least likable characteristics to the parent and still receive the parent's absolutely satisfying, security-inducing unconditional love.”
― Gordon Neufeld
When teens are developing and learning how to interact in this complex world, you are their safe place and even though you will face times of unpleasant, uncooperative, rude interactions with your teen — they need you there.
It’s hard. They will trigger you — to react instead of respond.
Just know that they are dealing with more information, images and knowledge than we ever have. Help them to take time away from it by being with you - put traditions into place that allow you to do things together. Focus on other activities, sports and outings that pull them away from the online world to the real world where they can experience all the sensations of life.
It’s not easy. I know this. But I also know we have to help them navigate what is here and learn to see what is authentic - and then identify what picks them up instead of bringing them down.
Well are excited to talk more about our youth - our teens. And we are talking more steps towards this with our online youth calls and live events.
Susan
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